You’re gonna stick that camera WHERE?
So ever since I was diagnosed with diabetes (about two weeks ago), I’ve been feeling kind of sorry for myself.
My self-pity party ended today, when I had to get up at 5:50 a.m. and prepare to have a Sigmoidoscopy
At the ripe old age of 60, this is a routine examination to catch early signs of colon cancer. I had already passed the “poop card” test,” so the next step was a sigmoidoscopy.
At 5:50 a.m. this morning, I was writhing around on my bathroom floor, my body twisting and turning, as I attempted to give myself the first of three Fleet enemas.
What. A. Hoot.
I will spare you the grisly details, but I’m not at my best at 6:00 a.m.
The next Fleet enema, two hours later, went lots better.
By the time I gave myself the final enema, I was a pro.
I got to my appointment on time, and my doctor explained the procedure.
Doc pointed out a long tube that looked a lot like a garden hose, only black. At the end of this torture device was a little camera. Using a diagram on the wall of the procedure room, my doctor explained that he was going to look at my colon, taking a few right turns along the way.
“Now don’t worry, you may need to expel a little gas,” my doctor told me.
“And you may poop. Don’t worry, M (his nurse) and I are used to this.”
Maybe I’m going s^%& in my doctor’s face when he’s got his head bent over my rectum.
And best of all, I got to watch on a little camera.
Honest to Betsey, I’ve never seen the inside of my rectum before, or the walls of my colon.
I got news for you, folks, it ain’t like going to the Museum of Natural History.
The procedure went really well, but I had a biopsy for a reddened area that could be pre-cancerous.
I’ll have the results of the biopsy in 1-2 days.
Am I worried?
Not really–I’ll worry about it if/when it happens.
I survived three enemas this morning, and I can handle anything else that comes my way.
Even a camera stuck up my butt.
But I did not lose control of my bowels (and that’s probably way too much info for all of you, but too bad :).