Monthly Archives: June 2009
…until the day before I move.
I’m going to be cleaning until then, so all I will have to do is turn in my key after the movers load my stuff into the truck.
And now, please excuse me while I pass out 🙂
I got a lot done today, but have a lot more to do!
I’m going to flake out in front of the tube tonight, and get to bed early.
So I’m having a weird week.
I’m transitioning again, by moving to this new apartment.
It’s going to be the first time in ten years that I will be living by myself.
It all started in 1999, when my father died a few months before I obtained my graduate degree in social work.
I was living in a one bedroom apartment in Greece, New York, and working at a local hospital.
My Dad died in June, and my Mom moved in with me in December.
My son and his family were living in Seattle by then, and my mom and I had to decide whether to move into a larger apartment in our apartment complex, or move to Seattle.
After months of discussion, we decided to move to Seattle, and we drove into the grand city of Seattle in June 2000.
I got a job, which I hated, and in 2001 I started working for the non-profit social service agency that still employs me.
My Mom and I were living in a 2 bedroom, 2 bathroom apartment in Bellevue, Washington.
And slowly, my Mom’s health started to decline as a number of health problems started to take a devastating toll on her body and mind.
In the last two years of her life, mom was in and out of the hospital so many times that I started to feel like the hospital was my home.
Mom’s final illness, when we learned she had advanced colon cancer, took her life within a month.
By this time, I was financially, physically, and emotionally broken in so many pieces that I wasn’t sure I would ever be whole again.
I put all of the stuff my Mom and I collected together into storage, and moved in with my son and his family.
I lived with my son and his family for over a year, and was out of work for 10 months.
Depressed, at times suicidal, there were days when I could not get out of bed, times when I wouldn’t leave the house for days.
I finally started coming out of my funk after 5 months on an anti-depressant, and wanted, no needed, to get back to work.
My son and daughter-in-law were having some problems, that started long before I moved in with them, but having me around sure didn’t help.
Without giving all the details (because this part is not my story), my son and his family moved to Oklahoma City for a year, and I stayed in Seattle.
I was financially strapped, so I looked for, and found, a mother-in-law apartment in the south Seattle area. My new landlady was a single mom with two kids.
Although I was working again, I was still emotionally fragile.
So was my landlady, and again, I won’t give details.
We were both emotionally fragile.
Besides the financial benefits of renting this apartment, I would be living in close proximity to a family. I would have independence, but support as well.
On July 10, I will have lived here two years.
My landlady is getting married again, and I am moving on to my new apartment, all on my own.
My son and his family moved back to Seattle last summer, and I will be living less than five miles from where they now reside.
Over the past two years, I have emptied about half of my storage unit.
This weekend, I will start moving more stuff out of storage, and expect to donate most of my stuff to Goodwill. What can’t be sold will be recycled by Goodwill.
So I find myself feeling so many things these days, as I prepare to move to my new, grown up apartment.
It’s a whirl of feelings, emotions, and gratitude.
Grace was given to me, by God, I think, for the time on my own to grieve, get my finances back in order, and work passionately at a job that I love (even when it drives me crazy).
I thank God for my landlady, who trusted me, offered me a place to live, and allowed me to be a part of her family.
I also thank God for my son and daughter-in-law, and my grandchildren who love me unconditionally.
Anti-depressants helped me for awhile, but I’ve been off them for two years now, and that makes me happy.
If I feel the need, I will take them again, but not right now.
As I think about giving away the remnants of my life before, I feel so many things, all at once. My emotions are like a pudding of many colors, thick and gooey and kind of sweet.
And I’m not sad.
Feeling these things is kind of comforting, happy one minute and crying over an old song the next.
So that’s what’s going on for me right now, that’s why my blogging is going to be so sporadic over the next month or so.
If you are still reading at this point, I thank you.
And I will be around, never fear, just less predictably.
I’m too busy feeling right now.
Michael Jackson got a little weird in his later years.
At least in my opinion.
And all that horrible stuff about child molestation.
I will always remember Michael as a little boy, uber-talented.
As a young man, his music was the best stuff I’ve ever danced to.
My thoughts and prayers are with his family tonight.
And, on a personal note, I will be gone until Sunday–a combination of family and moving stuff (I’m empyting out a storage unit, a bit at a time).
Take care all!
Generally, you can expect less blogging from me until after my move in August.
Because there’s a lot to do.
The movers are all set to come at (9:00 a.m. on the first day of August (my birthday).
I don’t have that much to pack, and I’m starting that lovely chore this weekend.
I’ve sent in a change of address with the postal service.
But what chaps my buttocks the most is the long list of agencies and business that require me to change my address.
There’s the bank, the few people I pay money to twice a month, my alma mater…..
The list grows every day.
So bear with me until August 3 or so, after I’m in my new digs.
Once I’m in my new place, I’ll share pictures with you.
And now, if you will excuse me, I need to go visit some blogs.
I like this movie, but found it difficult to watch.
It’s about people who have material possessions, but are empty inside.
Leo and Kate do a great job; they’ve got this sparkle between them still.